Stop Smoking

Smoking is an addiction I have struggled with since I started during my freshman year at college, way back when. I half-heartedly tried to quit many times, to no avail. In the early 80's, when I was an EMT, I convinced all the other EMTs and firefighters to quit along with me, starting on New Year's Day. Everyone joined in, and I was elated! I love competition, so this was a great challenge for me. At the time, there was a kind of cigarette substitute on the market which looked like a tobacco cigarette, but surely didn't smell like one. I decided to use this product as a crutch. It worked! These 'cigarettes' made real cigarettes smell like manure, literally. They really helped me, and as I recall, I used them for about a month. I also, unfortunately, used hard candies as a crutch. During that first month of non-smoking, I broke a molar requiring a visit to the dentist, and I gained twenty-five pounds.

The competition went on for five months. One by one, the other quitters stopped being quitters. As each one resumed smoking, I felt sad and a little angry. I stuck with it, however, and felt very, very proud of myself. I could dance and walk a distance without getting winded, and generally felt pretty good. It finally was down to two people, Jeff and me. Then came the day when I found out that Jeff was bumming cigarettes and smoking them at work. I was devastated. It wasn't until one day when my now ex-husband and I were having an argument, that I started smoking again. He had promised to quit drinking if I quit smoking. He didn't quit, and that is what we were arguing about. He said he wasn't the one who told me to quit smoking. I got the car keys, went to the store, and bought a pack of cigarettes. I came home and very dramatically lit up a cigarette in front of him. He said, "Do you feel better now?" Needless to say, he is my ex for more than one reason.

I continued to smoke until December 24 of last year. That is when I had a second and more severe incident of not being able to breathe very well. I was at my daughter's home for Christmas, and I had to waken her to call the ambulance. It was so very frightening to not be able to inhale more than what felt like about an inch. My breathing was so rapid and I couldn't say more than one word in between breaths. And, of course, the more the rapid inhalations continued, the more anxious I became. I don't know what the ambulance crew did other than getting me onto oxygen, because I don't remember any more than being put into the ambulance. I must have been sedated or I passed out. I vaguely recall a little about being in the emergency room where I stayed all of Christmas Day. The day after Christmas, I was transferred to another hospital where coronary artery bypass surgery was done. I haven't smoked since!

The downside of this is that instead of smoking, I am once again eating hard candy and just about anything else I can get my hands on. I have cracked a tooth. I have gained weight. I am diabetic and eating candy. At least when I smoked, I didn't have any desire to eat candy and my weight stayed about the same always. So now what? One vice seems as bad as the next.

The Way Men Talk

Have you ever noticed that when two or more men gather to talk, they stand in a row, side-by-side, looking out in the same direction? I have always wondered about this behavior and how it differs from the way women talk with each other. Women normally stand face to face or in a circle and chat. Anyone have any ideas?

Obama and the Media

Our system of elections has been undermined and completely taken over by the media. It is despicable that the cable news "stars" spew forth endless diatribes, rants and predictions on the November Presidential Election. These omniscient "talking heads" have decided that Hillary Clinton should quit the race because Obama has won. The thing is, the votes of the PEOPLE of this country (who are supposed to decide the candidates) indicate that about half of said voters want Hillary and the other half want Obama. It seems to me in past primaries, the decision was left to the Democratic Convention.

Further, I am sick of hearing about racism involved in the primaries. Hillary is blamed for playing the racism card, but the black race itself made the election about racism. Blacks, by registering to vote in huge numbers for the first time in the history of this country, brought forth race as an issue. The media is now trying to decide if the white blue collar voters and the white female voters will vote for Obama or switch parties and vote for McCain. By subtly denigrating white blue collar workers by saying they are uneducated and thereby implying they are not smart enough to make the right decisions, the media attempts to shame them into voting for the most liberal of the candidates. Many of these workers are political conservatives and don't want to see someone as liberal as Obama in office.

I speak as someone who was once quite liberal in beliefs, but who has lived long enough to see where that liberalism has led this country. Does anyone recall the Communist Manifesto? Even though the Communist Party is no longer a major world threat, their Manifesto has been, if not completely, then almost completely fulfilled. It was done not via conservatism, but rather through liberalism.

When my brother, Bill, and I were young, we each received a duckling for Easter. We fed those ducks and watched them grow. Our parents warned us not to get attached to those white ducks because the plan was to cook them one day. I guess Bill and I didn't believe that and we became quite fond of the quacking, messy ducks.

Then one Saturday, our mother told us to catch one of the ducks. We caught Bill's duck, and Mom decapitated it (while I, as usual, held the metal funnel used for the same purpose on chickens). Mom cleaned the duck and early Sunday morning, she prepared it for the oven. She said it takes longer to roast a duck.

Our grandparents came for dinner, and the duck was the main course. The house at that time was built into the hillside so that windows on the upper side and the back were at ground level. As we were eating in the dining room, I had a clear view of the living room side window and was startled to see my duck peering in the window as we ate its buddy. My brother and I could not eat any more duck. The adults were rather amused, as all of them except our father, were born and raised on farms.

The next week, Mom decided my duck was next for the funnel guillotine. She told us to catch it. Bill and I chased that duck for a long, long time before we actually were able to hold onto it. It seemed to know what we were going to do and it didn't want any part of it.

To this day, I have never eaten duck again.

The One That Got Away

Finally I can say, "Today I caught the biggest rainbow trout I've ever caught, and it got away!" It put up a good fight, and just as I got it onto the shore, the hook came out and it landed at my feet. I bent and picked it up and it wiggled, slipping out of my hands and into the water. Off it went, no worse for the wear. I didn't catch another fish all afternoon. What I did get was wet because it rained off and on all day as the forecasted cold front moved in. Another fisherman felt sorry for me and gave me three trout, so at least I have some to cook.

I came home to discover that John Edwards has endorsed Obama. Jeez, could it be that he is trying to get the vice-presidential bid? Guess he was waiting to see who he thought had the best chance of getting the nomination. That seems a bit underhanded to me, but most political acts seem that way to me. What a crock! He seemed really without class tonight as I saw him on stage with Obama. So easy to read. I am tired of men taking control of everything - they keep telling Hillary to bow out, when not one of the men would quit under the circumstances. It is time for a female president. Females in this country were denied rights, especially the right to vote, until 1920. Granted, blacks received that right later, but the inequality of women continues today, even after all the bra burning and marches of my generation.

May 13

Today is the birthday of someone I loved passionately for many years.

Sadly, today also marks the death of one of my favorite contemporary American artists, Robert Rauschenberg. What a loss to the art world! See the link for more information on this talented, innovative artist. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24596837/

What a Beautiful Day It Is

Today was absolutely perfect for fishing -- not too hot, not too cold, not too windy. The air was the perfect temperature which is like a caress when a light wind moves by. The sun shining on the water and the myriad shades of green from the leaves emerging on the trees, as well as the dogwood and apple blossoms reflected in the water made a perfect Spring day. AND the fish were biting! I caught three nice-sized large mouth bass which had to go back into the water because they aren't in season until mid-June. I also caught 2 rainbow trout, pictured to the right. They are now fileted and covered in salt water overnight. Hopefully, tomorrow I will catch a few more.