Spare the Rod and Teach a Lesson

Psychologists and educators have debated for years about the most effective ways to mete out punishment to youngsters.  A man who operated a couple of businesses in our rural neighborhood had the best solution to correct the errant behaviors of  two teenagers, one of them my own.

One Sunday afternoon in the middle of winter, when about 3 inches of snow covered the fields and lay beneath the trees in the woods, my son Todd asked if he could go to visit a neighboring friend.  "Yes, but be home in time for dinner," I said, knowing I probably didn't need to give him a time because he was fifteen and growing and mealtime was very important to him.  Indeed, he was home by dark and before dinner.

The next day, I was talking with a friend and gazing at the scenery from the sliding glass doors in my dining room when I saw a man emerge from the woods down at the bottom of the steep hill behind our house.  He walked slowly, with his head down, and as he walked, I could see he was headed in my direction.  I told my friend, and when the man was obviously approaching my house, I hung up the phone.  I didn't recognize him, and frankly, I was alarmed by this stranger who came from the woods. When I heard him ring the doorbell, I decided not to answer the door because I was home alone.

He left, and I watched him travel back down the hill until he disappeared into the woods. I wasn't able to see his face, so I still didn't know who he was.

That evening, after dinner, the doorbell rang and when I opened the door, I recognized the visitor, Bill, and asked him inside.  He said he knew we had a son, and wondered if he had been home all day Sunday.  I said, "No, he went to a neighbor's house in the afternoon.  Why?"

"Is he home now?  I would like to speak with him."

My husband called Todd to come to the living room, and when he did, Bill said he followed tracks in the snow from his junkyard to our house, and that is why he was here now.  Todd looked alarmed (a mother can always tell guilt when she sees it on the face of one of her children).

Bill asked Todd if the boys took guns to the junkyard, and Todd said they had.

"You took a gun outside without permission?" my husband asked Todd before turning back to Bill and asking, "What did they do?"

My son hung his head and I knew the boys had done something very wrong.

"I collect antique Cadillacs and store them at the junkyard," Bill said, "and yesterday, every single one of them had the windows shot out."

We gasped, because it was difficult to imagine our son, who had never been in trouble, would do something so destructive.  My husband asked Bill what we could do to correct the damage, and how much would it cost. This was a concern for us, with four children, a large house payment, and one income.

Bill paused, and then said, "Well, I've been thinking about that. The damage is in the hundreds of dollars.  I know it would be a hardship for you to pay that, and it wasn't you who caused the damage, after all. I have thought of a solution.  I will go and see the other boy's parents after I leave here, and present them with the same plan.

"I want both of the boys to come to my house every Saturday morning for a couple of months and I will assign jobs for them to do in order to work off their debt. Don't worry about packing a lunch for Todd, because I will provide lunch."

Todd, ashamed of his wrongdoing, agreed with Bill's plan, though he knew he hadn't any choice.  My husband told Todd to get his rifle and bring it to us.  When Todd handed the rifle over, my husband said, "You will not get this gun back for a year.  No hunting, no target shooting. You now do not have a rifle or access to any gun for a year."

Thus began one of the most important learning experiences of Todd's young life.  Bill taught a lesson that any amount of money couldn't have done, and my husband backed him up.  When the boys worked for him around his home and junkyard, they were not only paying off their debt, but they were privileged to hear many wise words and life lessons from Bill.  I have felt grateful to him ever since, though he has long ago gone to his eternal rest. My son never got into trouble again.

All I can say is that the lesson Todd learned has served him well, and today he is the father of two fine sons and I assume he metes out punishment with the same kind of wisdom and kindness as Bill did.

Our Plastic Culture

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you".   The New American Standard Bible, Exodus 20:12.  

Although I have never liked the generalizations that have been embedded into our collective consciousness via jokes about the maladies of aging, today people have turned those generalizations into their personal beliefs about senior citizens. Of course, they seem not to have the foresight to understand that, should they live long enough, the very deficits they make fun of in the old will be the same ones they themselves will experience on the most personal basis.

In most cultures, the aged are revered for their wisdom, perseverance, skills, talents, and knowledge. Today, in the United States of America, the elderly are pushed aside as useless and unattractive consumers of those things the young think only they deserve. The old are marginalized, especially if they are single females. They are placed in nursing homes or senior housing, rather than taken care of by their family members. The elderly are still, in this age touted as the most evolved ever, the butt of many jokes, some of which are cruel at best.

Our culture is obsessed with youth, and cosmetic surgery is seen as a way to escape the now dreaded wrinkles and sags of old age. The plastic culture reigns and women are offered breast lifts, butt lifts, botox injections, face lifts, and liposuction as ways to look younger. Young women are enticed to have breast enhancements or reductions and to purchase expensive wrinkle prevention creams. Aging men are encouraged to take erectile dysfunction medications to enhance virile performance and in the process, often incur serious health risks. Young men are told they must shave the hair from their bodies to be attractive to women.

Americans seem to be living in a pipe dream. The young are enthralled with pop icons and attempt to emulate those icons in every possible way, and although this has always been common for teens, it seems to be continuing longer than it once did. We have a Peter Pan mentality that doesn't permit people to age. How unreal and absurd is that? Plastic isn't real and isn't even possible for most seniors who not only cannot afford surgeries and expensive creams, but have a belief system that values the real over the phony.

The admonition from the Ten Commandments is valuable not only for aging parents, but also for the soundness of their children's souls.

A Rose By Any Other Name is Still a Rose

I propose the following descriptive names be changed to those which are less racial in nature: White Cloud, Brownies, Black Forest and Black Forest Cake, Black Jack and Black Jack gum, White Shoulders perfume, Red Box, Red perfume, the Black Sea, the Red Sea, Black Box, brown water, Black Hawk, black Irish, black clouds, red skies, and many more. Let us now begin to wonder when The White House will come under fire for being a racist name? Perhaps everything should be named one of Fifty Shades of Grey, thereby also neutralizing any possibly unscrupulous sexual activities? You know, like former President Clinton's activities with Monica Lewinsky left children as young as elementary school age thinking bj's were ok for everyone, were safe, and didn't get people pregnant. No matter how we argue and fight over names society assigns to various groups and items, it still remains the same:  A rose by any other name is still a rose.

The Deterioration of TV Standards

For years, I watched Good Morning America.  I stopped when Diane Sawyer left.  I watched the CBS Morning Show until they changed to their current and very boring co-hosts.  When The Today Show dropped Ann Curry, I stopped watching because I was angry.  Occasionally, I watch one or the other but I am always displeased with either the show hosts or their celebrity-focused content. 

In the past, I liked Matt Lauer, but in recent years he has become weasel-like, and I have this gut feeling about his relationships with his co-hosts that I just can't get past.  When Ann Curry was co-hosting, I watched because she could be counted upon to present professional and generally unbiased stories. No one will ever convince me Lauer didn't have anything to do with Curry's firing.

Lately, I've been watching Good Morning America, but I am not liking what is happening there, either.  George Stephanopoulis seems like the fatherly figure who sits there watching his offspring with amazement.  Robin Roberts is much the same as she was when she co-hosted with Diane Sawyer.  The problem I am having is watching what appears to be a rivalry between Lara Spencer and Josh Elliot.  The latter increasingly seems to be trying to steal the spotlight from the others, possibly with the goal of taking over for George.  Lara Spencer, delightful as she can be, appears to be in competition with Josh for that coveted limelight.  When all the younger people are placed around the table with the co-hosts, they all talk at the same time.  Believe me, show producers, viewers can not hear anything that is being said when you permit this kind of behavior.  It isn't a party we are attending.  It's a tv show and only one person should be speaking at a time. 

The morning shows can't take all the guilt for the "everyone talk at once" syndrome.  Political programs are worse when they have opposing opinions presented by guests.  Fox News is guilty of that, with Bob Beckel and Juan Williams talking over everyone else on all the shows upon which they appear.  Many of us change the channel when this happens, and rightly so.

Maybe talk radio is the answer.  TV is, pardon the pun, going down the tubes.  Apparently, TV is following the US education goals - reaching the lowest common denominator.  Anyone with any sense realizes where that kind of pandering to the uneducated and intellectually lazy leads - nowhere.  It could have been so much better. 

A Special Valentine

Valentine's Day.  Females have long been seduced and targeted by the corporate world to expect the men who love us to bestow us with cards, flowers, chocolates, and diamonds.  It can be wonderful if you have a sweetheart, but demoralizing if you don't.

Back in the nineties,  I was alone and when Valentine's Day arrived, I often found myself in a depressed state of mind.  The mantra repeating itself in my head was, "No one loves me."   I never spoke to anyone about it, because I found it embarrassing to not even receive a card in the mail, let alone flowers or candy. Just like many other single females, I dreaded this day as well as all the other holidays I would spend alone.

In 1998, I attended a few Christian counseling sessions with Ann, a woman who was a recognized Prophet in her church.  This church was a non-denominational and charismatic type of church where speaking in tongues, prophecy, and being slain in the Spirit were all part of the services.  I was attending counseling with her after experiencing a very painful break-up with someone I had loved.

A week or so after Valentine's Day, I went to see Ann and she started the session, as always, with a prayer asking for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  Her prayers were powerful, and when that Presence joined us, it was palpable and emotional. During the sessions, Ann would occasionally tell me that the Lord had a message for me.  Always, it was about something which was causing me concern or sadness, and frequently wasn't concerning anything which we had discussed.  On this day, she closed her eyes during the session and held up her hand signifying I should be quiet.  When she spoke, eyes still closed, she said, "The Lord wants you to know that he has something to tell you.  He seems to be holding something out to you.  I can't quite see it....oh, yes!  It's a Valentine and it says 'Be Mine'."  I was astounded and deeply moved.  God knew my heart.

Because I had never mentioned anything to Ann or to anyone else about my unrealistic expectations on  Valentine's Day,  this message held great meaning for me.  On every Valentine's Day since, when I haven't received a declaration of love, all I've had to do is remember the most special Valentine of all - the one that told me I am loved by God. 

America is Being Changed for the Worse

Every week brings new "changes" to the American way of life.  The American people, for the most part, ignore what is happening and blissfully continue to purchase the latest technology, cars, and clothing as they continue to watch their media-created heroes in the throes of phony social dilemmas.  America is on the brink of the kind of social change our forefathers went to great lengths to avoid.  One usurper to the presidency of the United States of America is making changes that contradict everything for which our ancestors fought.

Today, the Senate Democrats changed the rules and the future will be very different because of them.  The next changes to the Constitution will address gun contol and term limits, and when those changes are made, not only is our Republic lost, but so is our Judeo-Christian philosophy in favor of a Socialistic and godless society.  America is being changed, but for the worse.

Rules for Radicals

The truth may never be told as history is recorded, rewritten, and recited over and again.  Some of us must try to preserve the facts.

In 1971, I was hired to become a community organizer by a county organization which operated under the federal Office of Economic Opportunity, or O.E.O.  This organization, which was a forerunner of A.C.O.R.N., was disenfranchised by then President Richard M. Nixon.  The latter stated that OEO duplicated social programs such as the Department of Public Welfare.  This was true, except for the fact that DPW had the power to actually help the poor and OEO didn't.  I learned early on the true purpose of OEO.

Training consisted of reading, memorizing, and understanding Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals:  A Practical Primer for Realistic Radicals.  Below are the tenets of Alinsky's way to social change:

  1.  Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.
  2.  Never go outside the experience of your people.
  3.  Wherever possible, go outside of the experience of the enemy.
  4.  Make the enemy live up to their own book of rules.
  5.  Ridicule is man's most potent weapon.
  6.  A good tactic is one that your people enjoy.
  7.  A tactic that drags on too long becomes a drag.
  8.  Keep the pressure on.
  9.  The threat is usually more terrifying than the thing itself.
10.  The major premise for tactics is the development of operations that will maintain constant pressure   
       upon the opposition.
11.  If you push a negative hard and deep enough,  it will break through into its counterside.
12.  The price of a successful attack is a constructive alternative.
13.  Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.

It is my most fervent hope that people read and study these tenets and think of all the ways they have been and are being used by our Administration, and then, hopefully, understand the purpose and intent of using Rules for Radicals.  Don't forget, Obama himself studied these rules as a community organizer and is notably a follower of Alinsky and his Marxist beliefs. He was raised by and associated with known Communists.   Learn what Marxism is, learn how it affects a population, and learn how to counteract it in the United States.  If we don't, we will soon not live in a free country.